


we can't make any promises now, can we, babe?

by lucylikestowrite



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash February, Femslash February 2018, It's a little bit sad, Mild Smut, and then they don't talk, based on the synopsis for curse of the earth totem, ie - sara takes some private time, sara and ava talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-17 20:30:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13666740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucylikestowrite/pseuds/lucylikestowrite
Summary: “Private time makes it sound like they thought you needed to be alone.”“I didn't want to be alone.” Sara shrunk into herself, feeling the bravado peeling away.“Clearly.” Ava paused. “You wanted to be… here.”





	we can't make any promises now, can we, babe?

**Author's Note:**

> like two hours after i posted this as a draft the promo photos came out for curse of the earth totem so i guess this is? canon divergent? but i'm not gonna tag it as that because the episode hasn't come out yet bite me legends writers
> 
> title is from delicate by taylor swift yes we're back to taylor binches

Sara took a deep breath, and then knocked.

From inside, there was the sound of footsteps, a latch undoing, and multiple bolts being pulled back. Sara had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Of course Ava had like fifteen different locks on her door.

The door swung open, and Ava’s first reaction was surprise, her mouth opening. She quickly hid that, her arms crossing in front of her, her face relaxing.

She was dressed casually, a loose button down shirt over sweatpants. The look was more than a little surprising, the casual clothing jarring after hardly ever having seen Ava in anything other than a suit.

“Surprised to see me?” Sara asked, her tone playful.

“No,” Ava said, a little too quickly. “Just surprised you knocked. You don't seem like a front door kind of person. I always figured you would…”

She trailed off, her eyes darting away from Sara.

Sara couldn't help smiling. She leant in the door frame, her arms crossed, mirroring Ava’s position. She tilted forward, reducing the space between them. “No, carry on. What did you figure?”

Ava almost blushed, ducking her head in a way that made Sara’s chest tighten.

“That when you turned up here-”

“So you've been thinking about me in your apartment?”

“-you wouldn't use the door,” Ava finished, ignoring Sara’s words, and the blatant teasing behind them.

Sara gasped, mock horror on her face. “Are you suggesting I would just invite myself into your home?”

“Yes,” Ava said, without a moment’s hesitation. “That sounds exactly like something you would do.”

Sara laughed. “Okay. I might have considered it.”

Ava raised an eyebrow.

“But I didn't, did I? I knocked and everything.”

“I'm proud of you.”

There was silence for a second.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” Sara asked. “That's usually what happens after someone knocks.”

Ava sighed. “Will it make a difference if I invite you in or not?”

“Absolutely not,” Sara said, pushing past.

“I didn't think so.”

Sara turned, looking at where Ava was still standing in the doorway, looking at Sara with a familiar expression. Not quite disbelief, not quite confusion. Something like curiosity. Ava shook her head slightly, closing the door behind her.

“You know me so well,” Sara said, a grin on her face, as she settled onto the couch.

“Sure,” Ava said, rolling her eyes. “Make yourself at home. And maybe at some point you can tell me why you're here?”

Sara considered. “Maybe. But can't a girl pay a visit to her friend without needing a reason?”

Ava sat down next to Sara. “Are we friends?”

“Aren't we?” Sara asked.

“I don't know, Sara. You're hard to figure out.”

“I could say the same about you,” Sara said. It wasn't defensive, just resigned. “But you'd think once you've saved someone's life twice you'd be friends. You owe me.”

“I don't think that's how friendship works,” Ava said. She paused. “In any case, I've saved _your_ life as well. We’re even.”

Sara took a deep breath, trying to hide the feeling that rose in her chest, the same feeling that appeared any time she thought about her time in Mallus’s realm, of a hand on her arm just in time. She shook her head slightly, trying to clear her head, before speaking again.

“Is that why I'm back to being Captain Lance? Because we’re even?” Sara asked, her voice light, trying not to let on how much those two words had played on her mind ever since their call.

“What? No- Why would you-” Ava didn't finish the sentence, her mouth opening and closing a few times, confusion clouding her face.

Her gaze, though, was unwavering, intense on Sara, and it was a lot, too much, too deep and with too much care behind her eyes. Sara’s eyes flicked down, then back up in time to see Ava still watching her, her expression something resembling worry.

Maybe Sara wasn't as good at hiding how she felt as she thought.

“Why are you here, Sara? Don't you have something to do?”

Sara shook her head. “I've got some time off.”

Ava laughed. “You get days off as a time vigilante? Do you also get dental?”

“The team thought I needed some time away. Some… private time. I agreed with them.”

“So you came here?”

Sara shrugged.

“Private time makes it sound like they thought you needed to be alone.”

“I didn't want to be alone.” Sara shrunk into herself, feeling the bravado peeling away.

“Clearly.” Ava paused. “You wanted to be… here.”

Her voice went up slightly at the end of the sentence, as if it was a question, as if, maybe, Sara hadn't meant to turn up her door, as if it had been an accident.

She was silent, expectant, and maybe it was a question - she certainly seemed to want an answer.

“Clearly,” Sara echoed.

“With me.”

“No, I was actually hoping you had a roommate I could talk to.”

Ava didn't laugh. In fairness, it wasn't a very funny joke.

“What do you want from me, Sara?” Her voice was suddenly raw, more vulnerable than Sara had heard it.

Sara had no idea how to answer that. She wasn't even sure of the answer herself, couldn't say why this was the first place, the only place she'd wanted to come when the team had forced her to take time off.

If the question was almost too much, the answer certainly would be.

So she did what she always did: turned on the charm, and, her voice dropping, she avoided answering the question in any way that would be satisfactory. “Stress relief?” she suggested.

Ava shifted away, her arms crossing in front of her. A frown appeared on her face. That wasn't the reaction Sara had been hoping for, but it wasn't entirely unexpected. There was a careful line between them, and Sara was pushing at it, testing the boundaries.

“Don't do that,” Ava said, her voice hard.

“Do what?” Sara asked, feigning innocence.

“Divert.”

“I'm not.”

She was.

“You are,” Ava said.

Sara sighed. “Fine. I suppose it would be nice to talk…” she trailed off, her mouth pursing. She shifted sideways, closing the gap that Ava had made between them. “Or we could not talk.”

It was a last ditch attempt. It wasn't surprising when it failed, when Ava let out a breath, shaking her head.

“Or talk, I suppose,” Sara conceded.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Fine. Whatever.” Sara felt like a teenager, but she hated knowing Ava was right, knowing that she did need to talk about the load of shit that she'd been carrying around with her. One conversation with Constantine hadn't been enough.

But she'd only been half joking about the stress relief. She had too much pent up energy. Five minutes in a basement also hadn't been enough, and Ava was right _there_ , looking at her like _that_ , and it was all a bit too much.

“Sara?”

Sara looked up. “Yeah?”

“Don't change your mind. We’re still talking.”

Sara blinked. She couldn't quite read Ava all the time, wasn't entirely sure where this was going.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sara asked.

And then Ava was kissing her, her mouth soft.

It was the opposite of everything Sara had assumed it would be. It wasn't rushed, it wasn't angry, or messy, or hidden away on some dark corner on the Waverider.

Instead, it was slow, Ava’s hand around the back of Sara’s neck. Sara shifted, pressing forward, her mouth falling open. Ava pulled backwards, and Sara followed her movement, trying, and failing, to drag Ava back in.

Ava just smiled, like she hadn't just tipped the world upside down.

“Now we can talk.”

Sara gaped. “That's not fair.”

“You said you needed some stress relief.”

“Aves,” Sara said. “I'm more stressed now.”

Ava didn’t react to the nickname. Sara took that to mean she could keep using it.

“No, you're not,” Ava said.

“And you'd know that because?”

“Because I'm good at reading people. You're more relaxed.”

Sara didn't want to admit it, but Ava was right. Sure, her heart rate had sped up, but she also felt a bit like she was floating. But she wasn't going to admit that, so she leant back in, her fingers going to the buttons on Ava’s shirt. “If you're so good at figuring out how I'm feeling, how come we still need to talk?”

Ava’s hands were gentle as they moved Sara’s fingers away.

“Because you said you wouldn't change your mind.”

Sara shook her head. “I never agreed to that. You just told me not to.”

Ava tilted her head. “Same thing.”

“I don't think so.”

“Sara.” Ava's expression was not quite stern, but something softer. “You said you wanted to talk. I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to, but you suggested it, not me.”

Sara turned away, her face hard.

There was silence for what felt like decades, but it couldn't have been more than thirty seconds. Sara couldn't bring herself to turn back to face Ava, to her face _patient_ and _understanding_.

When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet, low and rueful. “There's a load of messed up shit going on up here,” she said, gesturing vaguely at her head. “Dying does that to you. I don't like talking about it because it's admitting that I can't be who everyone wants me to be, who they think I already am.”

“Who’s everyone?”

“The team. Rip. My family, the one time a year that I see them.” _You,_ Sara thought, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She paused, taking a breath. “They all want me to be perfect. They think I'm this fearless leader, that I can't fail or falter,” she said, her voice bitter.

“They don't.”

Sara turned, her expression sad. “You seem to know an awful lot about my life at the moment.”

“No-one’s fearless. Your friend just died.” Sara's eyes closed, memories that she'd been pushing down resurfacing. “You're allowed to falter.”

“I'm not. Not when lives are stake. I'm supposed to be in charge.”

Sara felt fingers intertwining with hers, and her eyes opened. She looked down at her hand, something almost like confusion. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had something like this, the last time she'd had anything to close to this.

To low light and a gentle touch.

She pulled away.

Ava’s face twisted, and yet it still wasn't into anger, or even hurt. That would've been easier to deal with, with biting words, a cold shoulder - by leaving. It would be easier if Sara could pretend that Ava wasn't frustratingly understanding. Instead, the sadness on her face just made Sara want to wipe it away, to fix it all.

“Everyone leaves,” Sara said, and that was the root of it all. Everyone leaves, even her. She had run away and never looked back.

Everyone leaves, and there was nothing she could do to stop it, to stop them dying or running away, stop everyone slipping away, except to put on a brave face, bring the mask down.

“I have to stop them from leaving.”

“That's not your job,” Ava said, her voice firm.

Sara kept talking, her voice low, words spilling out. “If I let my guard down, then bad things happen. People die. Too many people have died,” she said, gritting her teeth. “If I let my guard down, people leave. They don't want all of this. They realise that I’m not worth it. Not worth any of the trouble. I fuck up, and they don’t forgive me, because I don’t deserve it. I don’t want you to see that.”

She stopped, all of a sudden, her mouth clamping shut. She'd said too much, and it didn't feel good.

She'd been so careful to hide anything she may or may not have been feeling beneath layers of teasing and bravado, and now…

Now she'd said it. That there was something she was scared of. That she wanted something here.

That this wasn't just a game.

That she was scared Ava would see her, and she'd still think the same of her as when they'd first met. Or that she’d know her, and realise that she was worse - that she was every rumour spread around the Bureau and more, that she was a lost cause, good for fixing time and fighting and fucking and not much more.

When she finally managed to drag her eyes away from her hands to meet Ava’s gaze, there was something unreadable there.

“I've said too much,” Sara said. She tried to stand up, and Ava reached out a hand, pulling her back down.

“No, you haven't.” As Ava said this, their fingers intertwined again, and, God, it felt good.

They fit together so well. That was the best thing.

And the worst thing. The best and the worst thing at the same time.

There was a pause.

“But we don't have to do any more talking, if you don't want to,” Ava said, the smallest of smiles on her face. It was hardly anything, and somehow, it said everything.

She wouldn't leave. She was Ava Sharpe, Time Bureau Agent, steady and reliable, and looking at Sara in a way that made everything clear.

She was looking at Sara in a way few people had, a jumble of emotions, her eyes wide. Her lips were parted, and Sara watched as she took a deep breath.

Sara didn't need telling twice. They fell together, mouths urgent.

They shifted, the couch suddenly seeming small under a tangle of limbs. Sara's hands found Ava’s buttons again, her fingers clumsy, wanting nothing more than to have the shirt under her fingers gone.

This was more like what she’d been expecting. There was no way they were going to do this tidily, not after weeks of… whatever they’d had between them. Calls for no reason and messages late at night, ostensibly about work, but really about nothing at all.

She got the buttons undone, and finally her hands were free, free to wrap one hand under Ava’s neck, the other on skin that was finally bare, smooth underneath her fingers.

Sara kissed her, hard, pressing in closer. Ava’s arms were around her back, keeping her there. They weren’t in a rush but they were, their breathing heavy.

No-one was about to kill them, or walk in on them. They had all the time in the world, but Sara knew that if she held back a second longer she was going to burst. She hadn’t come here for this (or at least, she’d told herself that), but now, looking down at Ava, her lips swollen, her face flushed, it seemed a little like fate.

Ava sat up slightly under Sara’s weight, tugging at the sweater Sara was wearing. Sara did the rest of the work, pulling the black fabric over her head, then ducking back down, shivering slightly, half anticipation and half cold.

Ava’s hands stilled as Sara kissed a line down her chest. Her head tipped back, and she stifled a moan. When Ava spoke, it started as a gasp as Sara’s mouth reached her bra. “You want to take this somewhere else?”

“No,” Sara said. “Here is good.”

“My couch is terrible,” Ava said, her voice breaking slightly as Sara toyed with the waistband of her pants.

“I thought we didn’t have to talk anymore, Aves,” Sara said. She paused, one hand by Ava’s head, propping herself up, the other pushing lower. “But don’t worry. I’m good at working in less than satisfactory conditions.”

“I’ve got a bed.”

“We all do,” Sara said, and then her hand dipped under Ava’s underwear, and Ava wasn’t saying anything anymore.

Ava arched into her. Sara leant down to meet her, her hand still moving.

It didn’t take long before Ava was shuddering under her, her eyes closed. Sara wasn’t surprised - it felt like they’d been building towards this forever. She knew that she wouldn’t last long once Ava got her hands on her.

Ava came with a sigh, her hands gripping down on Sara’s arms. She was silent for a second, for thirty seconds, her breathing heavy. When she opened her eyes, they were hazy, but her hands were already moving to Sara’s zipper.

Sara wasn’t going to complain. She lifted her hips slightly, letting Ava pull her jeans off her.

When they were gone, Ava’s hands on her skin were soft. Usually, Sara would be pushing for more, biting down and bruising, but slow and gentle felt right right now.

Not least because she was sure that all it would take was one touch for her to finish, as turned on and pent up as she was. She didn't want this to be over. Ava's hands were on her hips.

Sara bent down, their lips meeting again. Her eyes closed, and then she felt Ava’s hands trailing across her skin.

Part of her still wanted Ava to go even slower, to drag this out. Another part of her wasn't sure she'd last much longer, so, in the end, it was a relief when she felt Ava’s fingers on her.

A sound escaped from her mouth, and Ava smiled, her fingers slow and steady.

It was exactly what Sara needed - to be grounded, to have something that didn't need to be rushed.

There was no worry that this would be the last time they saw each other, that they would disappear off to another country or another time or another universe.

There would be time later for heat and passion, and that in itself was a revelation. Sara hadn't had that in years, hadn't had anything close to that since she'd been brought back.

She leant down again, her hair framing Ava’s face. Their mouths met, and a few seconds later, she was tumbling over the edge, a few swear words escaping her lips, hissed into Ava’s mouth.

She was still for a minute, her heart rate slowing, her breathing evening out. When she finally met Ava’s eyes, it was almost too much.

This was something, that was for sure.

It was something steady.

And, somehow, that wasn't scary at all.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up at agentavasharpes.tumblr.com or @_avasharpe on the twitter. 
> 
> two more fics left in femslash feb and then.... we shall see. 6 fics in a month is kinda taking it out of me ngl but it is worth it for the Gay Agenda.


End file.
